You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
