I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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