I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
