it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
