...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
you never un-have a 4some
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
