I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
