im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
