Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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