plz talk dirty to me
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
