You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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