she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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