Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
