i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i dont even know how to be here
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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