I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
