He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
