I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
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