I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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