i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
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Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
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I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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