just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I had to cum in my sink.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
