Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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