I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
