Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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