words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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