I love black thongs
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize