His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
