I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I looked at my own cervix.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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