Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
how does that bad decision feel?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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