Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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