the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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