I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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