Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
