He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
