I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
