Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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