she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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