did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
