Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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