In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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