I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
