some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
