I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
