He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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