No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
