hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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