took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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