I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
