i think my mom watched the whole time
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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