I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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