Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize