Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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