i wish my penis had a tongue
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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