I accidentally had phone sex last night
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
