I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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