Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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