Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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