Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Less talking, more tequila
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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