and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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