just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
