youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
