I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
