So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
