The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Boobs are out for the taking
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
