You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
