I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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